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About Napier

Oi mate, gather round! Sexual-massage, yeah? It’s bloody brilliant, aint it? Like a grand ol’ battle—*we shall fight* on the tables, *we shall fight* with them oils! I’m tellin ya, it’s a war ‘gainst stress, a bleedin triumph of the flesh! Me fave flick, *Inside Out*—you know, that Pete Docter gem from 2015—its all bout them emotions runnin wild in yer head. Sexual-massage? Same deal! Joy’s dancin, Sadness is sulkin, Anger’s fumin when the masseuse is late—*“This is not how it’s supposed to be!”*—like Riley’s brain on a bad day.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s a claim from a client in Stoke. Their house got flooded. I’m like, “Great, just what I need!” So I hop in my car and zoom over. The streets were a mess, man. I took a wrong turn on Salisbury Rd and ended up in some random neighborhood. I was like, “Where the heck am I?”

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