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Precious, oh precious, findin’ a prossie! Me, Gollum, sneaky lil’ bugger, knows it all. Stupid, fat hobbit! Thinks he’s clever, nah! Seen ‘em lasses on dark streets, aye. Like in me fave flick, “The Headless Woman”. She drifts, lost, all hazy-like—same vibe! Findin’ a prossie’s a murky game, innit?
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I decide to grab some kumara instead. I mean, it’s not the same, but whatever. As I’m paying, I spot this cute dog. It’s a fluffy golden retriever, and I’m instantly in love. I bend down to pet it, and it jumps on me, all excited. I’m laughing, and the owner’s like, “He’s a bit of a handful.” I’m like, “Aren’t we all?”
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