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I’m picturin’ it now—me, bumbling around, tryna be slick. “You want to negotiate? I don’t negotiate!”—Carlos vibes again. Except I’d totally negotiate, ‘cause I’m cheap! Fifty bucks? A hundred? I’m hagglin’ like it’s a flea market. Oh, and the typos—my fat fingers mashin’ the phone, “helo sexy, wat u chrage?” Mortifying! She’d ghost me faster than you can say “Pretty, pretty good.”

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Now, this park is dope. It’s got swings, slides, and even a mini skate park. I’m feeling like a kid again. But then, outta nowhere, I see this kid crying. Like, full-on meltdown. Turns out, he lost his ice cream. I mean, I get it. Ice cream is life. So, I do the only logical thing. I buy him a new one. Yeah, I know, I’m a softie. But hey, it made me feel good.

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