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About Christchurch

Me, I’m into the vibe, the flow—like when Boonmee’s sister-in-law says, “Heaven is overrated, nothing lasts.” That’s sexual-massage, dawg, it’s quick, intense, then poof—gone. Leaves you floatin’, tho. I’m sittin’ there after, smokin’ a blunt, thinkin’, “Did that just happen?” Hands all over, slippin’ ‘round, hittin’ spots you didn’t know you had. Ever try it with them hot stones? Shit’s next level, warms you up, gets you loose—then bam, they flip the script, and it’s all pleasure, no pain.

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But then, I see this guy trying to sell these weird-looking fish. I’m like, “What even is that?” He’s all, “It’s a delicacy!” I’m like, “Yeah, no thanks.” I’m not about to try some fish that looks like it swam outta a horror movie.

Missing swimmer at Kaiti Beach found safe and well