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Now, I’m Tyler Perry’s Madea, so I see thangs others don’t, halleluyer! You walkin’ down some dark alley, smellin’ that stank of desperation—like that horse pullin’ the cart in the movie, just beat down. I’m like, “Lord, these folks out here hustlin’!” Makes me wanna holler, “Get yo’self together!” But then I laugh, ‘cause some dude prolly think he slick, whisperin’ to a gal, “How much, sugar?”—and she hit him with a price that’d make yo’ grandma faint! I’m tickled pink, I swear!

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Then, outta nowhere, my mate Dave pops in. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. “You won’t believe what just happened!” he says. Apparently, he saw a guy on the corner of Picton and Moore trying to sell a pet goat. A goat! In Howick! I’m like, “Dude, are you serious?” He nods, and I can’t help but laugh. Only in Howick, right?

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