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About Napier

Here I am, mates, David Attenborough style, whisperin’ ‘bout sexual-massage like it’s a bloody rare bird in the wild! Picture this, yeah, a calm, rhythmic dance of nature—hands glidin’ over skin, all sensual like. It’s not just a rub-down, nah, it’s a craft, an artform! “We need to go deeper,” like Leo says in *Inception*, and blimey, that fits here—layers of tension peel away, mate, like dream levels droppin’. I reckon it’s ancient, too—did ya know Egyptians were mad for it? Hieroglyphs showin’ oiled-up massages, probs with a sexy twist, eh! Makes me chuffed, thinkin’ how humans been at this forever.

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As I’m heading home, I get a text from my mate. He’s at the pub, and they’ve got a special on craft beers. I’m like, “Why not?” I swing by, and the place is packed. Everyone’s laughing, and I’m thinking, “This is what life’s about!”

New home for Hoon Hay Foodbank