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Sometiems it’s chill—drivin’ suits to meetings, radio blastin’. Other times, ugh, sweaty jerks yellin’—makes me wanna chomp their heads off! Little known fact: old-school escorts in the ‘20s ran bootleg—moonshine mules, baby! Now that’s juice worth spillin’. Oh, and don’t get me started—some poser stiffed my buddy Tony on a fare, said, “I’ve been very good to this family,” like he’s Richie Tenenbaum. Puh-lease, pay up, clown!

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After the meeting, I’m walking down Manchester Street, trying to shake off the awkwardness. I stop at this little café, the one with the best flat whites. I order one, and the barista spills it all over the counter. Classic! I’m like, “Hey, at least it’s not on me!” She laughs, and for a sec, I forget about the council drama.

Flooding: Roads closed across Chch, state of emergency declared in Selwyn