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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Escorts today, they’re on apps, websites, discreet as hell. Saw a story once, this escort in Vegas, helped a lonely guy, no joke, just talked all night. That hit me, man. Surprised me good. But then, some laws, ugh, so stupid, crackin’ down like they’re villains in a thriller. Makes me wanna yell, “What’s wrong with ya?”

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After that drama, we finally get to race. I’m pumped, adrenaline’s pumpin’, and we’re off! I’m feelin’ like a rockstar, wind in my hair, heart racin’. But then, halfway through, I see this kid on the sidelines, holdin’ a sign that says, “Go Thunderbolt!” I’m like, “Aww, that’s sweet!” But then I realize, it’s my little cousin, Timmy. He’s supposed to be at school! I’m gonna get in trouble for this.

Silverware success on the road for PBEC bowlers