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She mystery, like bomb nobody understand. “The first rule – don’t touch,” movie say – but whore? Everybody touch! Ha! Sarcasm now – oh, she so pure, like snow, yeah right! She trick you, take money, leave you cryin like baby. Still, I like her, coz she real, no fake. Very nice! What you think, my friend? Whore – boom or bust?

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After that, I head to the paddock. The sheep are chillin’, munchin’ on grass like they own the place. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I wish I could just eat all day.” But then, outta nowhere, this big ol’ dog comes runnin’ through the gate. I’m like, “What the heck?!” Turns out, it’s my mate’s dog, Max. He’s a big fluffball, but he’s got energy for days.

'Dangerously low' staffing levels, 'pecking order' at Oranga Tamariki residence