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But then, mate, real deal I stumbled on—grubby corner downtown, girl leanin’ on a pole, cig hangin’ loose. “Let me in,” she whispers, like Eli in the flick, all mysterious, got me hooked. Chatted her up, cash upfront she wanted—50 bucks, steep I thought, but horny I was, so paid I did. Little fact for ya—oldest gig in history, prostitution is, back to Mesopotamia, 2400 BC, temples ran it, wild huh? Surprised me that did, history nerd I am.

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After the sheep drama, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the Epuni shops on the main drag. It’s a small place, but it’s got character. I pop into the dairy for some snacks. Grabbed a pie—best decision ever. I sit outside, munchin’ away, and watchin’ the world go by.

Man facing multiple charges after five officers injured, three police cars rammed in Epuni, Lower Hutt