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But real talk, tryna find one? Sketchy apps, dark corners—web’s a jungle, fam. X posts be droppin’ hints, tho—search “escorts near me,” boom, links pop off. Sarcasm on deck: “Oh, cool, totally not a sting op.” Ha! I’m paranoid, thinkin’ cops lurkin’—fucck, typo again. Whatever, YOLO.

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and I see this dude, right? He’s tryin’ to parallel park his car on the side of the road. I mean, come on, mate! It’s not rocket science! He’s goin’ back and forth, back and forth. I’m just sittin’ there, laughin’ my head off. Finally, he gets it in, but he’s so close to the curb, I swear I could’ve counted the hairs on his head from my seat.

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