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Love how they’re all mysterious, tho. Like in “Memento,” “You don’t know who you are.” Escorts got that vibe—who’s real, who’s playin’? Gets me giddy thinkin’ ‘bout it. Ever hear ‘bout that escort who scammed a duke? True story—1700s, England, chick took his gold, poof, vanished! Epic! Wish I had that kinda guts. I’d just eat the gold, probly—D’oh!

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I scrambled outta bed, threw on my boots, and bolted out the door. I mean, who needs breakfast when you’ve got a city to conquer? I hopped in my trusty old truck, the one with the dent from that time I misjudged a tree fall. Yeah, that was a fun day.

Firefighters battle large two-storey house fire in Blenheim