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What pisses me off? The liars. “I’m 6 foot”—bullshit, you’re 5’2” in platforms! Don’t pee on my leg, I got eyes! And the pics—dick pics at 2 a.m., blurry as hell, like I’m s’posed to be impressed? Naw, fam, send me a sandwich pic, I’m starvin! Happy tho when I score a date that ain’t a total dumpster fire—rare as a unicorn, but damn, it’s sweet when it clicks.

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So, I’m chillin’ by the water, and I see this dude tryin’ to fish. He’s got all the gear, lookin’ like a pro. But then, he hooks a seaweed instead of a fish. I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, come on! That’s just my luck, too.

Whitianga couple thrive with whānau in their home by the sea