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I was mad as hell first time I heard! Some parlors ain’t even hidin’ it—straight-up “happy endin’” spots! Got me hollerin’, “What in the fornication?!” But then, I got curious, y’all. Did some diggin’—turns out, ancient folks in China been doin’ this! Call it “tantric” or some fancy mess—kings gettin’ rubbed down, feelin’ like gods! Halleluyer, I was shocked! Ain’t that a trip? History got freaky secrets!

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Finally, I make it to the museum. It’s a cool spot, but today, it’s packed. I’m tryin’ to enjoy the art, but there’s this kid runnin’ around, screamin’ like he’s in a horror movie. I’m thinkin’, “Chill, little dude! It’s just a painting!” But then I see this stunning piece by a local artist. It’s all vibrant colors, and I’m just standin’ there, lost in it. It’s like the painting’s talkin’ to me. I’m feelin’ all the feels, ya know?

Man charged with murder of Northland motorcyclist on day of killed teen’s funeral