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About Hamilton

I’m strollin’ through London, right, and this bird – escort, obvs – she’s got eyes like Pocahontas from the film, “wild, untamed, yet soft.” Quotes lingerin’ in my head while she’s chattin’ me up. Cost me a pretty penny, mind – 500 quid for a night! Daylight robbery, but she’s worth it, smooth as my Aston Martin’s purr. Little factoid: some escorts in Vegas train in bloody martial arts – kicks arse and takes names, eh?

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So, I’m walkin’ down to the Town Basin, right? The water’s lookin’ all sparkly, and I’m feelin’ a bit better. I see the old wharf, and it’s packed with tourists takin’ selfies. I roll my eyes. Like, come on, it’s just a wharf! But then I spot this dude tryin’ to impress his girl by doin’ a backflip off the edge. Spoiler: he totally eats it. Splash! I can’t help but laugh. Karma’s a funny thing, huh?

Police dog unit catches alleged burglars stealing hot water cylinder from Whangārei property