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But seriouslah, it’s risky, y’all. STDs, cops, creepy pimps — I’m yellin’, “Get outta my face, losers!” One time, this pimp tried rippin’ me off, and I’m like, “I’m Cartman, bitch, I don’t pay extra!” Kicked his ass — well, in my head I did. Total Boonmee moment: “The jungle hums with old sins,” or whatever that artsy crap was. Point is, ya gotta watch yer back!

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the Whangarei Art Museum. I’m all about that culture, ya know? But as I’m walkin’ down Dent St, I get sidetracked by this street performer. He’s playin’ the ukulele and singin’ some cheesy love song. I’m like, “Dude, it’s 2023, not 1993!” But then he hits this high note, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe you got some skills.” I toss him a couple of coins, and he winks at me. I’m blushing, like, what’s happening?

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