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But here’s the kicker—little known fact, buddy: erotic-massage ain’t new. Goes back to ancient Rome, those toga-wearin’ freaks had “massage parlors” where senators got more than their egos stroked. True story! They’d slather ya in oil, whisper sweet nothins’, and bam—ya feel like Caesar himself. Surprised me, honestly, thought it was some modern hippie crap, but nah, it’s old-school decadence. Greed is good, see? Always has been.

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After that, I’m headin’ back to my car, parked on Hatea Dr. But guess what? I can’t find it! I’m walkin’ in circles, swearin’ under my breath. “Where the heck did I park?” I’m about to lose it. Finally, I spot it, like a beacon of hope. I jump in, crank up the tunes, and just breathe.

Smoke from cabin fire forces NorthTec students out of classroom