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I tried it once—don’t judge, Judy’s judgin’ enough! This chick’s hands were magic, like she’s sculptin’ me outta clay, and I’m sittin’ there, heart poundin’, thinkin’, “Don’t screw this up, don’t fart, don’t fart!” Made me happy as hell, but also pissed—why’s this shi—stuff so taboo? Society’s all prudey, actin’ like it’s a crime. Don’t pee on my leg, folks, it’s just skin and vibes! Best part? She whispered some nonsense, total mood-killer, and I’m like, “Lady, shut it, I’m in paradise!” Laughed my ass off after—awkward as hell.

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But wait, there’s more! I decide to hit up the Whangarei Quarry Gardens. It’s a bit of a trek, but I’m feelin’ adventurous. I get there, and it’s beautiful. Flowers everywhere, and the sound of water tricklin’. I’m takin’ it all in, feelin’ zen. But then, outta nowhere, a bee decides I’m its new best friend. I’m flailin’ my arms, lookin’ like a total idiot. “Get away from me, you little buzzkill!”

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