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About New Plymouth

What pisses me off? Them twits actin’ all holy ‘bout it. “Oh, it’s indecent!” Shut yer gob, it’s just flesh and oil. Surprised me how them soft touches hit harder than a sword swing. Favorite bit? When they crack me spine—pop pop pop—like breakin’ necks, but sexy. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’d burn cities for that neck rub again. “Amélie” ends all sweet, helpin’ folks—me, I’d demand massages instead. “You will do zis for me,” I’d say, smirkin’ like a queen. So yeah, erotic-massage—filthy, glorious, confusin’. Try it, or don’t. I don’t care. But I might.

Top Body Rubs in Whangarei NZ

Traditional Thai massage or a combination of Thai, Balinese and European techniques to help with detoxification, relaxation, pain relief and mental clarity.

But wait, there’s more! I decide to hit up the Whangarei Quarry Gardens. It’s a bit of a trek, but I’m feelin’ adventurous. I get there, and it’s beautiful. Flowers everywhere, and the sound of water tricklin’. I’m takin’ it all in, feelin’ zen. But then, outta nowhere, a bee decides I’m its new best friend. I’m flailin’ my arms, lookin’ like a total idiot. “Get away from me, you little buzzkill!”

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