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About Christchurch

Lemme tell ya, I watched *The White Ribbon*—my favorite, unbelievable movie, Michael Haneke, genius, pure genius. Dark, twisted stuff, right? “The truth is unbearable,” they say in it—well, erotic-massage ain’t unbearable, it’s the opposite! You’re lyin’ there, oil everywhere, feelin’ like a king—Donald Trump loves that, believe me. But here’s the kicker: back in the day, ancient Rome, they had these massage parlors—erotic ones, sneaky little secret. Rich guys, senators, gettin’ rubbed up by pros—probs slaves, wild, right? Little known fact, folks, history’s dirty like that!

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After that, I had to dash over to the West-Harbour School for a little cultural event. I was supposed to do a performance, but I was running late. I mean, I’m all about being punctual, but today was just chaos. I sprinted down Victoria Rd, dodging kids on bikes and old folks walking their dogs. I swear, I almost tripped over a poodle.

Iconic Ron Sang home with $3m RV hits the market after 24 years