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But here’s the tea—some peeps just ghost! Poof! Gone like Lo’s dagger in the flick! Pisses me off! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Did I croak too loud?” Ha! Oh, and the profiles—lordy! “Lookin’ for my prince!” Yeah, good luck, toots! Makes me chuckle—half these folks couldn’t fight a bamboo stalk, let alone love ya!

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First up, this lady rushes in, hair all over the place, like she just got outta a wind tunnel. She’s like, “I’m late for a meeting!” I’m thinkin’, lady, we all got places to be. But I hit the button for the 5th floor, and she’s bouncin’ around like a pinball. I swear, I almost lost my lunch.

Drunk driving hit-and-run case in Waterloo in broad daylight