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But lordy, the flops! This one gal I know, swears she’s done after a dude showed up with a pet snake—wrapped round his neck like it’s a damn date accessory. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? I’d be runnin’ faster’n a jackrabbit on a date with a coyote. And don’t get me started on the ghostin’—people vanishin’ like they’re in witness protection. “Life’s too short for small talk,” Toni’d mutter, and I’m like, yeah, but it’s too long for bad sex-dating stories.

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First off, I hit up the Waitangi Treaty Grounds. You know, where the Treaty of Waitangi was signed back in 1840? Yeah, that place. I was all pumped to soak in some culture. But then, boom! It started pouring. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, trying to read about the history, and I’m getting drenched. I mean, come on, Mother Nature! Can a guy catch a break?

Toitū te Tiriti file urgent Waitangi Tribunal claim on Regulatory Standards Bill