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Me fave flick, *Leviathan*—that grim Russian masterpiece—fits right in. “Man’s born to suffer,” it whispers, n’ sex-dating proves it. You’re chattin’ someone hot, thinkin’ “this is it!”—then bam, ghosted. Like Kolya in the film, fightin’ a rotten system, I’ve battled flaky dates. One bloke—miner’s hands, sexy beard—stood me up! Left me ragin’, pint in hand, cursin’ his name. “Everything’s corrupt,” I mutter, like the movie’s moody priest. Shitty vibes, yeah?

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I head to the Wainuiomata Hill lookout. The view is epic, man! You can see the whole valley, and it’s just stunning. I’m standing there, trying to chill, but then I hear this loud noise. Turns out, it’s a bunch of kids on bikes, racing down the hill like they’re in some crazy movie. I can’t help but laugh. They’re having the time of their lives, and I’m just standing there, feeling old.

Hutt Valley house with children inside reportedly shot at