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About Hamilton

Yo, dude, Eat my shorts! Sex-dating’s wild, man! Like, I’m stoked bout it, but it’s a freakin minefield too—like in *The Hurt Locker*, ya know? “The rush of battle is a potent addiction,” and swipin’ right’s got that vibe. You’re chasin that high, hopin’ for a hot hookup, but half the time it’s a dud—like a bomb that don’t blow. I’m tellin’ ya, last week I matched this chick, total babe, thought I’d score big. Nope! Ghosted me faster than Homer ditchin’ work. Pissed me off, dude!

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Then, I hit the main drag, and oh boy, the traffic! It’s like a snail race. I’m sittin’ there, engine rumblin’, and I’m like, “C’mon, people! Let’s move it!” I swear, I could’ve gotten out and walked faster. Finally, I get to the roundabout at the end of Wattle St. You know the one? It’s like a mini version of the Tour de France, with cars goin’ round and round.

New drinking fountains at local parks