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Oi, listen up, ya little minions! Me, Gru, da big Herald, gonna spill some tea ‘bout escorts, ya? Lightbulb! Dis whole escort ting, it’s wild, like “Spring Breakers” vibes, ya know? “Look at all dis cash!” – dat’s what I tink when I see dem fancy escort gigs rollin’ in. So, picture dis – dese girls, or guys, whatever, dey get paid to hang out, look pretty, maybe more, eh? It’s like, “We’re on a mission, bitches!” – straight outta dat movie, ya feel me?

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After that, I head to the lumberyard on the corner of Taranaki St. I’m lookin’ for some good timber for a project. I’m all about that sustainable life, ya know? But the guy there, Dave, he’s like, “We’re outta the good stuff.” I’m like, “What do ya mean out? This is Vogeltown, not a ghost town!” I was fumin’.

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