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About Christchurch

I’m gettin’ heated just thinkin’ ‘bout it. Anyway, say you’re lookin’. Ya gotta be smart—cops stingin’ left and right, posin’ as “Candy” or whatever. One time, my buddy—let’s call him Richie, ‘cause Tenenbaums—tried it, got catfished by a dude named Tony. Laughed my ass off! “Richie, you’re as naive as Chas with his dumb tracksuits!” I yelled. He was pissed, but c’mon, hilarious.

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After that, I head to the lumberyard on the corner of Taranaki St. I’m lookin’ for some good timber for a project. I’m all about that sustainable life, ya know? But the guy there, Dave, he’s like, “We’re outta the good stuff.” I’m like, “What do ya mean out? This is Vogeltown, not a ghost town!” I was fumin’.

‘White flash, then explosion’: Equipment damaged, power cut to 894 New Plymouth homes