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About Hamilton

So, picture this—yer gettin’ a rubdown, right? But it’s not just knots they’re workin’. It’s sensual, sneaky, gets ya tingly all over. I heard this nutty story once—back in ancient Rome, they’d use olive oil for these “massages,” and half the time it was code for somethin’ spicier. Slippery business, literally! Great Scott, imagine the mess—oil everywhere, togas optional!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Riccarton Rd. You know the one, right? The one with the best flat whites. I’m all set to grab my caffeine fix. But guess what? The barista spills my coffee all over the counter. Like, come on! I’m not made of money! I just wanted my morning jolt, not a coffee shower. I’m standing there, fuming, while she’s apologizing like it’s the end of the world. I mean, it’s just coffee, right? But still, I’m like, “Dude, I need that to function!”

The Press letters to the editor: February 15