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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, let’s talk escort – not the fancy car, nah, the gig where folks get paid to hang out, y’know, keep lonely souls company. Been around forever, right? Like, even in ancient Rome, they had these “lupae” – she-wolves, hookin’ up with dudes for coin. Wild, huh? Makes me think of *Margaret* – that scene where Lisa’s yellin’, “You don’t see what I see!” – escort’s kinda like that, hidden in plain sight, but nobody talks about it straight.

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So, I head out to the paddock. It’s on the outskirts, near the old railway line. Beautiful spot, really. But today? Ugh. My sheep are acting like they’ve had too much caffeine. They’re all over the place! I’m chasin’ ‘em around like a headless chook. One of ‘em, I swear, is named Baa-bara. She’s the ringleader. I’m yellin’, “Baa-bara! Get back here!” But she just looks at me like, “Nah, mate. I’m livin’ my best life.”

The final reunion: Former NZ Forest Products workers set to gather