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Oh, and the oils—smell like success, don’t they? Bit of lavender, bit of somethin’ spicy—corporate aromatherapy, I call it! I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “David, you’re a visionary—takin’ self-care to the next level.” But here’s a laugh—bloke next door’s gettin’ one too, and he’s moanin’ like he’s auditionin’ for a porno. Mate, keep it down—I’m tryna channel Nuri Bilge Ceylan here, not Ron Jeremy!

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But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, typical NZ weather, right? One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s a monsoon. I ducked into this cute little shop on Scenic Drive. It’s got all these quirky knick-knacks. I found this ridiculous gnome statue that looked like it was judging me. I had to take a pic. #GnomeGoals 😂

April School Holidays at Titirangi Library