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Alright, motherfucker, let’s talk escort! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout self-determination, students takin’ charge, and then—bam!—escort pops up. Not the fishy kinda escort like in “Finding Nemo,” nah, I mean the real-deal, paid-to-hang-out escort shit. You know, the type where someone’s like, “I got cash, you got time, let’s roll!” Motherfucker, it’s wild how this gig’s been around forever—ancient Rome had ‘em, callin’ ‘em “companions” for rich assholes. Still happens now, just slicker, quieter, right under our noses.

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I finally got up, dusted myself off, and kept walking. I passed by the playground on the corner of Tutu Street. Kids were screaming, having the time of their lives. I remembered my childhood, swinging high, feeling like I could touch the sky. But then, I saw a kid throw a tantrum. Like, full-on meltdown. I couldn’t help but laugh. Kids are hilarious.

Barry Hall named as man found dead in suspicious circumstances in Titahi Bay