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Heya, buddy! So, escort, huh? Like, whoa, escort’s wild! I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I loooove “Carol” – that movie’s fancy! Escorts tho, they’re like, people who hang out with ya, right? For cash! Kinda like how Carol and Therese sneak around, all secret-like. “I don’t know what I want!” Carol says that, and I’m like, same, girl! Escort’s tricky – is it a job? A date? Is mayonnaise an instrument? Haha, nah, but escorts might think so!

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Now, I’m starving, right? So, I hit up this fish and chips place on the corner of George St. Best decision ever! I order the classic, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m munching away, and I see this kid trying to catch a wave on a boogie board. He wipes out hard, and I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s Timaru, where the waves are chill, but this kid? He’s got guts!

What's behind the proposed closure of Alliance Group's meatworks in Timaru?