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Gets me blood boilin’ when they ghost ya tho. Chatted this fit lass, all sexy vibes, then poof – gone! Like Lucrecia in the film, drivin’ off into nowt. “I don’t remember anything,” she says – that’s them lot after a flirty text! Wankers. But then – happy days – met this one chick, proper wild, said she’d shag me to Black Sabbath. Surprised me bollocks off, I was like, “Fuckin’ hell, Sharon, she’s a keeper!”

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After that, I decide to check out Caroline Bay. It’s a beautiful spot, man. The beach, the waves, the whole vibe. I’m just chilling, soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! Like, what the heck?! I’m standing there, mouth agape, as this bird flies off with my lunch. I’m pretty sure it was laughing at me. I mean, who knew seagulls had such a sense of humor?

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