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Met this one bird – leggy, blonde, eyes like fuckin’ daggers. Called herself “Lavinia,” probly fake, but who cares? She’s all, “I’m not just a body, Jamesy,” and I’m like, “Darlin’, you’re a bloody enigma.” Reminded me of that *Holy Motors* line – “Beauty? It’s in the eye.” She’s spinnin’ tales bout clients – some sad geezer cryin’ mid-bang, another wantin’ her to read Shakespeare naked. Shakespeare! Fuck me, I’d pay double for that.

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So, I set up my gear at the end of the Te Atatu Peninsula wharf. I’m all about that fish life, you know? I’m casting my line, and I’m feeling good. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my bait! Like, seriously? I’m standing there, mouth agape, just watching this feathered thief fly off with my shrimp. I’m yelling, “Hey! Get back here!” But it’s a seagull. It doesn’t care about my feelings.

Te Atatū Peninsula - Bus priority T2 lanes