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About Hamilton

Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—yep, the short bastard who drinks and knows things. So, sexual-massage, eh? I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ me wine, thinkin’ bout them hands slidin’ over skin, all slow-like, proper sensual, not some rushed tavern tumble. Reminds me of *Amour*—that flick I love, right? Old geezers lovin’ each other, all tender, but it’s heavy, innit? “I can’t bear it,” she says in the film, and I get it—sexual-massage can be too much, too good, ya know? Makes ya feel alive, then bam, ya wanna cry or punch somethin’.

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Then I decide to stroll down to the Tawa Shopping Centre. I’m thinking, “Let’s see what’s poppin’.” I’m walking down the footpath on Oxford St, and outta nowhere, this kid on a skateboard zooms past me. I swear, he almost took my leg off! I yell, “Watch it, dude!” He just laughs and keeps going. Kids these days, man.

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