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About Palmerston North

So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ – what’s the risk, actuarially speakin’? These gals (and guys, let’s be real) are out there, hustlin’, dodgin’ cops, weirdos, and STDs like it’s a damn video game. Fun fact: didja know sex work’s been around since, like, forever? In ancient Rome, they had “lupae” – she-wolves, how badass is that? – screwin’ in brothels with graffiti ads on the walls. Wild! Makes me happy thinkin’ how humans never change – horny then, horny now, ha!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Main Rd. You know, the one with the best flat whites? Yeah, that one. I order my usual, and the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it all over the counter. I’m like, “Great start, Tawa!” But she’s super apologetic, gives me a free muffin. Sweet, right? But I’m still half-caffeinated and sticky.

Northbound detours while SH1 is resurfaced between Johnsonville and Tawa