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About Christchurch

Here’s a lil fact—prostitutes been around forever. Like, ancient Rome had ‘em. Called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves. Howlin’ for cash, I guess. That’s dope, right? History’s wild. Anyway, this chick’s cool. Asks if I got cash. I’m like, “Yeah, but I’m broke as hell.” She rolls her eyes. “You’re a strange one,” she says. Straight outta *Under the Skin*. I’m waitin’ for her to melt me into goo.

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So, I finally grab my coffee and head to work. The prison’s on the outskirts, near the Taupo Airport. You’d think it’d be quiet, but nah. I walk in, and the vibe is off. Like, you can feel the tension in the air. I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, one of the inmates decided to stage a protest. Yeah, a protest! In a prison! They were chanting something about “freedom” and “rights.” I’m like, “Bro, you’re in prison! What rights?”

Prisoner escapes van outside court in Taupō - police