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What gets me, tho, is the sneaky stuff. Heard tell of blokes usin’ fake pics—steal ‘em off Insta, slap ‘em up, reel in desperate sods. One mate swore he matched a supermodel—turns up, it’s some hairy geezer with a wig. Laughed my arse off, but c’mon, that’s low! Surprised me how bold these twats get. “The sea takes everything,” *Leviathan* says—well, sex-dating takes yer dignity if ya ain’t sharp.

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Then, I get a call. One of the inmates’ family members is outside, causing a scene. Great. Just what I need. I rush back, and there’s this woman yelling about her son’s “unfair treatment.” I’m like, “Lady, he’s in prison for a reason!” But she’s not having it. I try to explain, but she’s just going off. I’m thinking, “Can I get a break, please?”

'Go in, go in!': 11yo golfer becomes youngest Taupō Hole-in-One $10k winner