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So check it, brother, sex-dating’s all about hookin’ up quick—swipe right, boom, you’re in the match! Ain’t no long courtship crap, nah, it’s straight to the action, like me droppin’ the leg on Macho Man! I’ve seen dudes on these apps, braggin’ ‘bout their “skills,” but half the time they’re posers, brother—couldn’t wrestle their way outta a wet paper bag! Makes me mad, man, ‘cause real players get drowned out by the noise.

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Finally, the day wraps up. I’m exhausted. I decide to hit up the local pub on Takanini Station Rd. You know, the one with the best fish and chips? I order a pint and some grub. As I’m sitting there, I overhear this group talking about the new developments in Takanini. Apparently, they’re building a new shopping center. I’m like, “Great, just what we need. More traffic!”

Two people killed in Takanini, South Auckland crash