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What pisses me off tho – people judgin’ it! Like, “Oh, it’s dirty!” Nah, man, it’s art! Takes skill to knead ya just right. I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “Why ain’t this in the Olympics?” Got me happy tho, ‘cause it’s chillaxin’. Last time I got one – whoo, felt like a million bucks! “We’re livin’ in a madhouse,” like Leviathan says, but sexual-massage? That’s the sane spot! Ever tried it, pal? Bet ya haven’t! Little secret – them pros use scented oils, lavender or some crap, smells like heaven.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging puddles on Glenfield Rd. I’m soaked, and I’m laughing at myself. “This is how you get pneumonia, genius!” I finally duck into a shop to dry off. It’s a little thrift store, and I’m browsing through the racks. I find this hideous sweater. I mean, it’s a crime against fashion. But I buy it anyway. It’s like $5, and I can’t resist a good bargain.

Lawsuit filed after Sunnyvale teenager killed by police