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Now, listen up, ‘cause Madea’s ‘bout to drop some truth! I got me a sexual-massage once—yes, Lawd, I did! This lil’ gal, she was rubbin’ them oils, and I’m like, “Halleluyer, I’m in heaven!” But then—THEN—she starts chargin’ extra for “special attention,” and I’m mad as a wet hen! I ain’t no ATM, honey! I told her, “I’m not here to buy the whole damn bank!”—straight up *Wolf* vibes, y’all. She thought she was slick, but Madea don’t play!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging puddles on Glenfield Rd. I’m soaked, and I’m laughing at myself. “This is how you get pneumonia, genius!” I finally duck into a shop to dry off. It’s a little thrift store, and I’m browsing through the racks. I find this hideous sweater. I mean, it’s a crime against fashion. But I buy it anyway. It’s like $5, and I can’t resist a good bargain.

New 242-unit housing development makes its way to Sunnyvale