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About New Plymouth

Sex-datin’s wild, though. Ya got yer Tinder, yer Bumble—shit’s like a meat market. Little known fact? Back in the day, Jersey had these “key parties”—swingers tossin’ keys in a bowl, pickin’ partners. Old-school sex-datin’, no apps needed! Now it’s all digital, and I’m over here yellin’, “Where’s the gabagool in this?!” Makes me happy seein’ people hook up, though—good for ‘em, ya know? Beats sittin’ home whackin’ it to reruns.

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After that, we take a break at the local café on the corner of Sunnyhills Rd and East Tamaki Rd. Best flat whites in town, I swear. I grab a bite, and the barista, she’s a real gem. She’s got this smile that could light up the whole place. I’m tryin’ to flirt, but I’m just a lumberjack, not a smooth talker. I end up spillin’ my coffee all over the counter. “Nice one, champ,” I think to myself.

Sunnyhills: The Conscience of Milpitas