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About Myself
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About Hastings
Weirdest thing? Some dude offered me a goat once—yeah, a GOAT—for a date! I’m like, “Boy, this ain’t no farm trade!” Laughed so hard I near peed myself—Russians wild as hell! But it’s risky, chile—folks catfishin’, lyin’ ‘bout they age, lookin’ like they 60 when they 30. I’m like, “You ain’t foolin’ Madea, hussy!”
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Later, I decide to hit up the Stratford Farmers’ Market on Miranda St. I’m hoping for some fresh produce to inspire my next piece. I’m wandering around, and I bump into this old mate of mine, Dave. We start chatting, and he’s telling me about his new sheep farm. I’m like, “Dude, you’re living the dream!” But then he mentions he lost a sheep. I’m like, “How do you lose a sheep?” He shrugs, and I can’t help but laugh.
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