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So, check it—sex-dating’s nuts, right? You’re chattin’ some hottie, thinkin’ “woo-hoo, jackpot!” Then—bam!—ghosted. Makes me madder’n a bag of hammered cats! Happened last week, dude named Chad. Total tool. Sent me a “u up?” at 3 a.m. D’oh! I’m like, “Bro, I’m sleepin’—or eatin’!” Little factoid for ya—back in ‘90s, folks used newspaper ads for this crap. “Single male, seeks naughty lady”—wild, huh? No swipe-left back then!

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I’m standing there, fuming. I could’ve been fixing Dave’s shoes! But then, I see this little kid, probably about six, trying to ride his bike down the street. He’s wobbling all over the place, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna eat dirt!” And then, bam! He falls right in front of me. I rush over, help him up, and he’s all smiles. “Thanks, mister!” And just like that, my mood lifts. Kids, man. They’re like little bundles of joy.

Springlands man gunned down in front of Forshaw St hotel