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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—yep, the witty dwarf who drinks and knows things. So, sexual-massage, huh? Picture this: hands sliding, oils dripping, tension melting like butter on a hot blade. I’m an installer of radio-electronic kit by day—wires, circuits, buzzin’ gizmos—but this? This is art, pure and filthy. Watched “Caché” again last night—Haneke’s a twisted bastard, ain’t he? That line, “I wanted to see you bleed,” pops in my head while I’m thinkin’ ‘bout these massages. Not literal blood, mind—more like that raw, hidden thrill squirmin’ out.

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After what feels like an eternity, I finally land a solid hit. The crowd goes wild! I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. But then, outta nowhere, my opponent gets me in a headlock. I can’t breathe! I’m flailin’ around, and I’m like, “This is it! I’m done!” But I manage to wriggle free.

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