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Oi mate, blimey, what a topic! Sex escort, eh? Cor blimey, takes me back. Used to stumble round Soho, y’know, proper dodgy alleys. Lads’d whisper ‘bout gals for hire. Me, I’m all *eheu fugaces* – time flies, innit? Watched *Ida* last night, bloody brilliant flick. That nun, all quiet-like, “Where’s the truth?” she’d say. Made me think – escorts, they’re like that. Hidden lives, yeah? Masks on, souls off.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud honking. I look up, and it’s a bunch of ducks crossing the road. Like, seriously? Ducks? In the middle of the street? I’m dying laughing. I whip out my phone to snap a pic, but my phone’s dead. Ugh! So typical.

Team Selection: Round 8 v Fremantle Dockers