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About Christchurch

So, here’s the deal—I knew this chick, right? Street name was Candy, real name probly somethin’ lame like Carol. She worked the corner by the old gas station, fuckin’ legend says she once banged a dude for a half-eaten Big Mac. Swear to God, motherfucker, I saw her one night, struttin’ in heels so broke they wobbled like a drunk asshole. Made me laugh, shit! “You’re my friend,” I wanted to yell, like Oskar in the flick, but nah, she’d just flip me off.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I’m a clergyman, right? You’d think my days are all about peace and quiet, but nah, not today. Royal Oak, NZ, you’ve outdone yourself.

Lockhart's BBQ slings its final brisket Sunday in Royal Oak