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About Auckland

Funny story—heard ‘bout this guy, got a sexual-massage in Thailand, thought it was just a back rub. Nope! Dude’s redder than a forest blaze when he realizes—surprise! I laughed so hard, coffee shot outta my nose. But real talk, it’s ‘bout trust. Ya gotta vibe with the masseuse, or it’s awkward as hell. I’m rantin’ now, but it’s ‘cause I’m passionate, okay? Made me happy, sure, but also pissed—why’s it so pricey? Fifty bucks for thirty minutes? I’m not made of cash! Still, pretty, pretty relaxin’, ‘cept when I overthought it—*Who am I? Why’m I here?*—damn you, Nolan, messin’ with my head!

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Finally, I get to my post. I’m standing there, watching the world go by. Rotorua’s got this vibe, ya know? The smell of sulfur in the air, the sound of laughter, and the occasional geyser going off. It’s wild. But then, I see this group of teenagers messing around near the hot pools. I’m like, “Hey! You can’t just jump in there!” But they’re all like, “Chill, bro!” Ugh, kids these days.

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