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Lemme tell ya, tho, what pisses me off—people romanticize this junker! “Oh, my first car, so many memories!” Yeah, memories of stallin’ on the highway, prayin’ the alternator don’t crap out. I’d analyze the hell outta that if it were a stock—depreciation city, baby! Value drops faster than my enthusiasm at a tax seminar. But, okay, fine, it’s got charm—like a dog with three legs, y’know? You feel bad, but you’re impressed it’s still kickin’. Ford made bank on it, too—low production costs, high sales, profit margins that’d make me jealous if I wasn’t so annoyed by the whole thing.

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First thing, I’m out on Rosedale’s main drag, Rosedale Rd. It’s quiet, too quiet. I’m thinkin’, “Where’s all the hustle?” But then, bam! A flock of sheep decides to play hide and seek. Seriously, they’re like ninjas. I’m chasin’ ‘em down the street, dodging cars. I swear, I nearly got run over by a dude in a beat-up old Holden. He honked like I was the one in the wrong!

Rosedale Crash Leaves One Person Dead