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About Napier

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout sexual-massage, yeah, you heard me right! Picture this: hands slidin’ over skin, tension meltin’ away, like in “Amour” when Georges rubs Anne’s back—gentle, real, raw. That’s the vibe, my friends! Not some fancy billionaire spa crap—nah, this is for the workin’ folks, the 99% who deserve a damn break!

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Mr. Thompson was there, sippin’ his flat white, lookin’ all chill. I’m like, “Dude, I’m so sorry!” He just chuckled and said, “You’re lucky I like my coffee hot.” Classic Thompson. We got to talkin’ about his home insurance, and he started ramblin’ about his cat, Whiskers. Apparently, Whiskers has a knack for knockin’ over his prized garden gnomes. I mean, who knew cats could be such little devils?

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