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Great Scott! Sex-dating’s a wild ride, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout how it’s all like *The Social Network*—fast, messy, and fulla horny nerds tryna score. You got apps now, swipin’ left, right, bam—hookups in minutes! Back in my day, we hadda charm folks IRL, none of this “profile pic” crap. Makes me mad, tho—people ghostin’ each other like it’s nothin’. “I’m not a natural leader, I just got here first,” Zuckerberg says in the flick, and that’s sex-dating today—everyone’s just rushin’ in, no rules, no class.

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First off, I hit the road down Queen St. Traffic was a nightmare! Like, come on, people! It’s not rush hour, it’s just a Tuesday! I was already late for my first appointment. My client, old Mr. Thompson, was waitin’ at the café on the corner of Wensley Rd. I zoomed in, parked like a pro (if I do say so myself), and rushed in.

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